My promise

"My only hope Kai Ling is you don't stop being a medical student because if you do then you would stop being my student. That is a big loss for me. When you came into my life you made me whole. Reminded me of why I became a lecturer. That is to see and remember that smile. A smile I will bring back home to lighten my tiredness and sadness. Do not quit ..."

This is the message from Prof. Sharir, the best doctor i have ever met.

Undeniably, i used to think of quitting, my health condition may not allow me to work in a hospital, where the risk of infection is undoubtedly high.. I used to think of living an easier life, instead of being a doctor, whose life is the most hectic and stressful one..thousands of reasons persuading myself to quit.. but there is only one reason, being the strongest summon from my heart, which is the feeling of reluctant to let go of all the sweet memories happened in my life as a medical student..

Flashing back.. I see the happiness when got to know myself being selected into medical course..
I see the time living in the hostel, far apart from my family, where the place i began to learn the meaning of 'independent'.. I see the time spent together with the friends knew after entering this course.. i see the smiles when we laughed together.. and i see the tears when we cried together..

and because of these, i decided to continue the course no matter how hard it will be..
there won't be any regret from me.. I promise myself.. and to all the friends and doctors who cared for me.. this is my promise.. ^^

single room

today, weekends starts..
i'm staying in my new hostel, which is a single room.
this is my first week living in an enclosed room alone, don't really enjoy it, and don't really like it..

No need to go to hospital today, still wake up at 7.30 in the morning though,
switched on laptop, online..
brushing, washing, grooming..
prepared Milo with biscuits, continued my drama series while breakfast..
Boiled a pot of water.. Did laundry..
Continued my assigment- Partogram..
Cleaned the room, swept the floor..
Decided to cook something, brought the rice cooker down from the top of cupboard.. unwrapped it..
walked in and out to prepare materials, don't really convenient to cook in this small room, where the water supply is located outside..
after lunch, studied and online alternately..
Handphone rang, wished the call is from someone who can talk to..
It was just a call about works eventually..Disappointed
Decided to go to the ward, changed and walked to the hospital..
Noticed my patient has been discharged, reviewed her records and found that she delivered a baby boy, smiled..
Back to the room again, took a shower..had dinner..
Studied and online again..

the room is deadly silence if without the songs playing from my laptop..
Is thinking whether anyone will notice if i disappeared,
In doubt..
Just don't like to feel alone..

People said that adaptibility to loneliness is among the assessment of maturity.. do u agree?