执子之手

“死生契阔 , 与子成说 。执子之手，与子偕老。”

很喜欢这句诗，很美的意境。
淡淡的爱情， 没有太多的轰轰烈烈惊天动地， 有的是像流水一样绵延不断的感觉。

上网查了白话文的翻译：

“生生死死离离合合，
（无论如何）我与你说过。
与你的双手交相执握，
伴着你一起垂垂老去。”

"Death or live, separated and far apart,
With you i promise,
I'll be holding your hands,
Together until we grow old.."

Life is so Beautiful~

I love to live in this world..

I love to breath and know that I'm living..

I love to smile to cute people,
and I love to laugh at funny scene.. :)

I love to walk on the street,
and enjoy the fresh breeze kissing my face..

I love listening to soft music,
and dance happily with it..

I love drinking plain water,
it is so sweet and pure than any other drinks..

I love butterfly,
flying around me with colourful wings in the park..

I love flowers,
blooming on the ground and give me a great smile..

I love the rain..
dropping on my umbrella and sings a song for me..

I love everything in the world~~

Life is so so so beautiful, that's why I can't think of any reason for not feeling happy to live in this beautiful world.. and I can't think of any reason for not smiling to you all the time~ ^^

waiting = helpless

Today.. i realised that waiting means helpless..

I was waiting on the corridor in front of Medical Ward 6H, from 8.50am.. holding my blood sample in a plain tube, waiting for the worker from Gribbles came to collect it.

That was for the blood test- Anti CCP, to investigate whether i'm sero-negative Rheumatoid Arthritis. The test was expensive and not available in government hospital, even in PPUKM. the blood test is a must for me, and doctor just leave this instruction without any subsequent help.

Well, i understand. Everyone is busy, no one will help you unless you help yourself. I called up Gribbles Pathology Lab and arranged the appointment, I asked my colleague's help to take blood from me, and i waited for the worker came to collect it..

Standing in front of the ward, I was not feeling comfortable, being in a ward which i don't seem to be welcomed. Students and doctors passed by me, asking why am I here, was speechless and didn't know how to give an answer... the story seems to be so so so long..

Patients were looking at me too.. how come a girl with white coat standing there without doing anything like others do? She isn't look like a patient, with this age..

It was 1.30p.m., I called up Gribbles to confirm the appointment again .. they told me is on the way... The patient's family invited me to sit on a bench together.. she told me she is waiting for her mother who went for hemodialysis.. I tried to smile and hide my embarrassment.

I don't know what else I can do other than sitting and keep waiting.. My handphone battery was empty and I was hungry.. But I know that I can do nothing but keep waiting.. There is a strong feeling inside me and causing me feel like crying.. I hate this feeling and I know that it is known as 'helpless'..

Sometimes i really wish that I have only single identity in this hospital, either medical student or patient.. I hate to be both, and yet overlapping..and I hate to be helpless.. hate waiting without knowing the time limit..

medicine..medicine..and medicine..

Sometimes i really curious, why am I need to take so many medicine..

it's not a very comfortable feeling, even when u take medicine for only a week or a month.. but for me is no due date, just have to take it everyday..though they are tasteless. Tell u what, i feel like eating chalk with variable sizes and colours every morning.

and whenever i have to go for a trip, the most stressful thing is i have to check and recheck whether i bring enough medicine, counting the different 'chalks', and how many tablets.. I have to adjust the alarm to remind me to take medicine in case i was too excited and forget about it..I have to keep the very precious medicine in somewhere safe, or just carry it along no matter where i go..to prevent any lost..

Well, no matter how much i dislike it, I can't afford to omit it..therefore I decided to keep it in somewhere cute, in order to make it more attractive..

here come the piggy..

My promise

"My only hope Kai Ling is you don't stop being a medical student because if you do then you would stop being my student. That is a big loss for me. When you came into my life you made me whole. Reminded me of why I became a lecturer. That is to see and remember that smile. A smile I will bring back home to lighten my tiredness and sadness. Do not quit ..."

This is the message from Prof. Sharir, the best doctor i have ever met.

Undeniably, i used to think of quitting, my health condition may not allow me to work in a hospital, where the risk of infection is undoubtedly high.. I used to think of living an easier life, instead of being a doctor, whose life is the most hectic and stressful one..thousands of reasons persuading myself to quit.. but there is only one reason, being the strongest summon from my heart, which is the feeling of reluctant to let go of all the sweet memories happened in my life as a medical student..

Flashing back.. I see the happiness when got to know myself being selected into medical course..
I see the time living in the hostel, far apart from my family, where the place i began to learn the meaning of 'independent'.. I see the time spent together with the friends knew after entering this course.. i see the smiles when we laughed together.. and i see the tears when we cried together..

and because of these, i decided to continue the course no matter how hard it will be..
there won't be any regret from me.. I promise myself.. and to all the friends and doctors who cared for me.. this is my promise.. ^^

single room

today, weekends starts..
i'm staying in my new hostel, which is a single room.
this is my first week living in an enclosed room alone, don't really enjoy it, and don't really like it..

No need to go to hospital today, still wake up at 7.30 in the morning though,
switched on laptop, online..
brushing, washing, grooming..
prepared Milo with biscuits, continued my drama series while breakfast..
Boiled a pot of water.. Did laundry..
Continued my assigment- Partogram..
Cleaned the room, swept the floor..
Decided to cook something, brought the rice cooker down from the top of cupboard.. unwrapped it..
walked in and out to prepare materials, don't really convenient to cook in this small room, where the water supply is located outside..
after lunch, studied and online alternately..
Handphone rang, wished the call is from someone who can talk to..
It was just a call about works eventually..Disappointed
Decided to go to the ward, changed and walked to the hospital..
Noticed my patient has been discharged, reviewed her records and found that she delivered a baby boy, smiled..
Back to the room again, took a shower..had dinner..
Studied and online again..

the room is deadly silence if without the songs playing from my laptop..
Is thinking whether anyone will notice if i disappeared,
In doubt..
Just don't like to feel alone..

People said that adaptibility to loneliness is among the assessment of maturity.. do u agree?

battle

Ms. Dreamy is sinking.. She has been feeling so lost..

It seems like losing a very best friend, who knew her well, understand her most..

Remembering most of the diffucult time, one had accompany to go through..

Whenever times are bad, one will give encourage and support.. and whenever confused moment, one will provide advices and opinions..

And now, with undetermined reason, she has been left alone.. being abandoned..

And she just don't like to be abandoned,
especially by the very precious person of her life..

Well, no one will be blamed for this.. there's nobody fault.

Nobody meant to start a war, but life is always a battlefield.. each word will turn into a war, everyone has their own amour and shield,

we never meant to hurt each other, but just no one can hide the pride, neither will raise the flag..

sleeping

Along this week of holiday, Ms.Dreamy keeps sleeping most of the time..
How come I feel so tired? Really curious.. Don't know why, just want to close the eyes..

Try to wake myself up, holding the books on my hands, 'A Practical Approach to Obstetric problems', 'A Practical Approach to Problems in Gynecology'... feeling even more annoying.. just can't focus and concentrate. I hate myself, how could I become a good doctor if I don't have the passion to read and gain knowledge? Why i will become like that? why i will become someone whom can't even recognized by myself?

No way ok, That wasn't me! That's enough, I don't want to live my life like that.

Ok, fine. everything will back to normal when i go back to my work. I promise myself.

Pain

Here come another painful evening..

I thought i have already get use to the pain, but I was wrong, the pain is still pricking no matter how many times i encounter it..

No one can resist pain, as long as your brain is functional..



Reluctant to take anymore pain-killer, can't even calculate how many tablets i have taken up to date.. convince myself that I can handle the pain without any medication, though never success..

Can't escape the daily medication, for regulation of my immune system..
Warning from doctor, never skip once.. I obey it, without asking the consequence ..

Secret from my heart, inevitably afraid of the side effects, addiction, resistancy, tolerancy..



Received a call from my doctor, adviced that pain is associated with stress..

Keep wondering, am I in stress now? Don't really think so.. But how come the pain reccurs after quite some time of indolence?
There should be something stressing me, slowly and silently..

Doctor said relationship is not encouraged, unless it is a stable one. I said nope, it's nothing to do with relationship, if there is, then it will be the stress for being alone and abandoned..

Sincerely wish that the pain would be relieved after a thorough sleep..

Good Night and Sweet Dream..

Wait

Wondering, what defines this relationship...

They rarely meet, seldom contact, perhaps is due to far distance, perhaps not, because he never dates her eventhough she back to the town.
He never convince anything, but just told to wait until things stable, in terms of career.
Future is unpredictable, so there won't be any promises..
Fine for waiting, but aware that there'll be no due date, could be years.. decades..
It's always not a fair thing for some one to wait without a warranty..
Clock walks, time flies, and will never reverse,
A person only born with one heart, and it can only occupy a person at one time..
It is cruel for some one waiting for life without a promise, while at the mean time grabbing away the chance to meet with another more worthy person..

Apparently, he is not a person who worth waiting, because the worthful person, will never let his loved one to wait without a promise..

Small town, simple family ^^

Ms.Dreamy 在Alor Star度假中。。。

刚刚帮老爸做身体检查，怎知他一下说肚脐周围痛，要Ms.Dreamy检查abdomen,然后又说脚跟痛，问我是不是尿酸， 检查完脚又说早上睡醒背后痛，问Ms.Dreamy骨头有没有问题。。 老妈在旁边偷笑，说老爸几十岁了还要撒娇。。老爸又说脸上黑斑不懂是不是cancer.. fainted.. *.*

接着帮老爸检查眼睛for jaundice and anemia, 他向我打赌说老妈眼睛一定睁不开，如果挣得开的话我要什么就给我什么。。 老妈也不甘示弱的把眼睛睁得大大， 说老爸输定了！！ 老爸装傻假假听不到！结果我们三个笑成一团。haha.. 这就是我的老爸老妈。 ^^老弟去补习了，不然一定和我们闹成一团。（老爸老妈现在在争着等下谁去接老弟放学）

说到老弟，他中午放学时很高兴地 拿着"STAR" 问我要不要看，后来问老妈他什么时候在学校订报纸，原来他知道我习惯看英文报，所以向学校老师拿的。^^下午，老弟和往常一样战战兢兢地拿science参考书进来我房间， 扮作很不小心的打开meiosis and mitosis 的chapter,其实是要我解释给他听。^^从小到大,老弟问我功课一定免不了被我骂，因为不懂是他太迟钝还是我太精明，每次解释都听不明白， 要重复很多次直到我发火。。 今天我告诉自己千万别对我最疼爱的弟弟发脾气了，他已经长大了。:)

大的弟弟现在UPM，所以不在家。前几天告诉他我又要搬宿舍了，他二话不说要来帮我搬，又帮我收拾，又买衣架，又搬东搬西，还要爬三楼楼梯上新宿舍，结果弄到满身大汗，真的很庆幸有个弟弟，不然我搬东西一定搬到死。^^

这就是我的家人，会做很多关心彼此的事，却不会说很多关心彼此的话。。

刚刚老爸老妈又再假装问我毕业后是不是要申请回Alor Star医院工作，我笑着说毕得了业再打算吧！从他们眼中， 我看见了失落..

Making decision

Ms. Dreamy is afraid of making decisions.. seriously..

To make a decision, usually there're two options to choose, either you pick it, or you drop it.. then you have to weigh the outcomes of both options, how much you gain and loss for each option, whether u can afford the loss if not picking it, or the regret for dropping it.. you cannot avoid hesitating, you afraid of making wrong decision, which might make you regret for life. You keep imagine the possible outcomes if you make that decision, but the truth is u can never see the outcome, only after you have made that decision..

You would like to make a decision according to your heart, let say to pick it, but your brain will regulate your thoughts, reminding you the rationality should against emotion..you are struggling.. However, there reach the time for you to decide, no matter what, just have to make a decision.

After that, regardless of what decision you have made, there's definitely a sense of 'loss' following it, maybe not right immediate, but one day it will come.. what you can do is to keep convincing yourself, don't regret.. Because no matter what decision you have made, there are only two outcomes, either you regret for making that decision, or you regret for not making that decision.. So, what for to regret?? that will be endless...

Mah fan 1

Mah fan mah fan mah fan mah fan....
Life is fulled of 'Mah fan'sss..

7/7/09

A BIG surprise from my supervisor-- he couldn't find my case write up!!!! Instead he doesn't even aware that I've submitted to him few weeks earlier by HAND.. Wahh.. it is almost like killing me, do u know how much effort and time i spent on that thing??Though very pek chek, still have to smile and nod my head when he instructed me to reprint it. Ok, fine.. this is what so called 'Supervisor', never try to against him, or else your marks will be very poor..

Fine, asked from hundreds of people around and finally found the one who has pendrive in his pocket, (i just lend my pendrive to a junior one day earlier..really pek chek).. then rushed back to my hostel which is damn far away and 10th floor some more to open my laptop and copied down the document... then rushed back to hospital and the library to print it out.. Very unfortunately, the staper provided in library was ruined.. so rushed to another building with photocopy service for binding. Really very very pek chek when saw a notice pasted in front of the door stating " LUNCH TIME 2pm-3pm".. Ok, so wait in front until 3 pm, finally done and rushed back to hospital again and took lift to 8th floor and found my supervisor's office. knocked onto the door and submit the case write-up again to him.. with a forceful ' SMILE'.. ** sweat..

Received a call from KTDI offering me a room in hospital hostel.. walked from ward to hostel again.. On the way, passed through my car and noticed a 'saman' on the front!!! You can imagine my facial expression.. quickly grabbed it.. " Daftar diri di Jabatan Keselamatan HUKM dalam 12 jam dari masa yang tercatat".. really like hell.. was already damn busy and yet all things come together.. Ok, so turned back to hospital which is really damn far away and go to Jabatan Keselamatan which is hidden in the basement..

Finally settled that saman..continue the journey to KTDI office, discussed with the very 'mah fan' woman about the hostel things.. already very tired.. seriously..

Miss

Time flies.. it's again the end of a week..

Early morning, i opened my eyes, here came the same thought: " how good if i'm at home now!" There isn't any place else can be more wonderful than that. Tell u a secret, I'm seriously missing my home.. and my lovely family.. ^^

That's always a secret in my heart, because I never tell anyone how much i eager to go home.
Don't know why, just don't used to admit it.. i was never trained to express my feelings, and I don't know how.. to say 'I Love You'.

Once upon a time, I wished that I could fly when i grow up, fly away from this small town, far away from my family.. I used to feel bored seeing my family days after days.. routinely. I even annoyed when have to ask for their permission for every decision making.. I hate when my dad always enters my room without knocking the door, I hate when my mum always scolds me for not eating, I hate when my brothers always beep on my diary and handphone..

And now, after years of independent life far away from this small town, I started to realise that the things i hate most are the things i miss most..
I miss that my dad always broke in my room when I was studying alone at night, surprised me so that i can refresh my mind..
I miss that my mum always scolded me for not eating, but then will prepare my most favourite food and failed my plan of keeping fit..
I miss my brothers when they always hide my handphone and read my messages, but finally I'll catch them and we laughed together at the funny messages..
I miss the friday evening, when we all go out for a dinner, telling jokes in the car, mum always intructs dad which road to follow, then dad blames that he is the actual driver, brothers and I will fight for which restaurants to go..
I miss that they always know when i want to go shopping, and accompany me eventhough there are television program to follow, eventhough dad always feels tired on walking, anyway still sit on the bench in front and wait..
I miss that mum always brought me to the morning market, eventhough she had nothing to buy, just because i woke up too early and feeling bored..
I miss that dad always spent half an hour driving to my favourite rojak stall, and trying hard to remember my favour of fruits..
I miss that my brother will try his best to repair my laptop when i ruined it, eventhough he kept scolding me for why not repairing it myself..

Hmm.. I guess that's the reason why i miss Alor Star so much.. because i have a very lovely family.. :) So now, I will never wish to fly anymore, I wish that I could stay with the one I love forever and ever.. eventhough in this small town.. I willing to let go of glory and authority.. just to stay with my beloved family.. ^^

Ring Finger

An interesting email..

為什么婚戒要帶在無名指上，十分有趣~！欣賞欣賞原來是這樣子哦！

1，首先大家伸出两手，将中指向下弯曲，对靠在一起，就是中指的背跟背靠在一起
2，然后将其它的 4个手指分别指尖对碰
3，在开始游戏的正题之前，请确保以下过程中，5个手指只允许一对手指分开。下面开 始游戏的正题。
4，请张开你们那对大母指，大母指代表我们的父母，能够张开，每个人都会有生老病 死，父母也会有一天离我们而去。
5，请大家合上大母指，再张开食指，食指代表兄弟姐妹，他们也都会有自己的家世， 也会离开我们。
6，请大家合上食指，再张开小母指，小母指代表子女，子女长大后，迟早有一天，会 有自己的家庭生活，也会离开我们。
7，那么，请大家合上小母指，再试着张开无名指。这个时候，大家会惊奇的发现无名 指怎么也张不开，因为无名指代表夫妻，是一辈子不分离的。真正的爱，粘在一起后， 是永生永世都分不开的。 这就是夫妻。 ^^

Lucky

Finally have a stable connection and a leisure time for me to write a new post.. ^^

Well, i believe most of you know that Ms.Dreamy is currently doing her clinical posting in UKMMC.. As a third year medical student, one will need to do 2 postings in each semester. For me, the first posting is Surgery while the next will be O&G (Obstetric and Gynecology). Each poting lasts for 8 weeks.

Hmm.. let's talk bout this 'interesting' Surgery posting.. :)

Along the posting, 我突然发觉老妈从小培养我看港剧是对的，因为UKMMC的病人80%是CHERAS华人，而且还是上了年纪的人，所以如果不能说广东话就跟他们沟通不来。其实住院的病人也是很可怜一下， 病到很惨了还要应酬我们这些医学生，被我们轮流interview他们的condition and history,而且全部人问的问题又大同小异，真的不发火才怪！ 而且还要被当白老鼠，让我们这些‘新来的’抽血和insert brenula (点滴）。 昨天看到我同学帮一个阿伯insert brenula,看他手振振那样，结果搞到阿伯痛到跳起来，insert不进还差点造成hematoma,搞到他满头大汗，hehe..（还好Ms.Dreamy的手势不错，so far都没病人complaint过，^^)

不过有些病人又超麻烦一下，有一个糖尿病阿伯每天看到Ms.Dreamy都会叫我拿水给他喝，问题是他的桌子上明明摆着几百种饮料，连100 plus都有，还硬硬叫我拿新的一杯水给他，装了一杯水给他，他又说杯肮脏，真的是以为Ms.Dreamy吃饱没事做，专门帮他“斟茶带水”，真的是“混秸”。 sampai连睡隔壁的阿叔也顶不顺， 直接问他：给你“黑狗”（beer)要不要？ ^^

还有一个auntie也是很搞笑，她是肾衰竭所以来做fistula洗肾，我和几个朋友一起clerk她，可是她每次和Ms. Dreamy讲话都会加上一句“leng lui”, 几乎每一个句子前面都有一句 “lenglui”，虽然Ms.Dreamy对自己external look还蛮confident, 但她真的好像有点夸张，所以老妈说那个auntie一定是在巴刹卖菜的，不然就是晚上在pasar malam卖衣服。haha..

还有一个骨骼疏松症的auntie也是很好笑，她是alor star人，所以Ms.Dreamy可以和她讲最最最熟悉的hokkian uah, 久违的亲切感。简直就一见如故，和她&她女儿sembang到整一个小时。从现在讲到年轻的时候， 还讲到alor star的东西，搞到我很想回家。 由于她是lung problem, 结果她一边sembang一边吐痰。最后吐了一大杯的痰，现在想起来觉得其实有点不卫生，hehe..

but basically, patient 都是很可怜的，他们都是有病了才会住进来。 所以as a health care worker, 我们有责任尽力帮助他们, treat them as our own family members. By the way, Ms.Dreamy觉得很grateful，因为这个世界上其实有很多很多比自己更不幸的人。所以，我们其实已经是非常非常幸运了，don't u think so?

Dear friends, Do you smile for today? ^^

so excited to enter operation room..hehe ^^

the weird one

Everytime meet with relatives and strangers, definitely they will ask about my relationship status. Undoubtedly, most of them shocked when i said 'Not yet' , with regards to my quality , then follwing that will be tonne of questions and persuasion, where the main urge is to remind me of the threats for being a single, when age goes by.. they will volunter to recommend their sons or nephews, who i rejected with a polite smile.. Hmm.. I'm definitely the weird one for being the only single with undetermined cause in this big family...

I know that my parents sometimes show their worries, even they trying hard to hide it.. I understand they are worrying that their beloved daughter has to carry the uneasy life all by herself, they are worrying of no more love and care will be delivered to her after they have gone, and of course they know their daughter deserved someone who they can rely on to take care of her..

However, the reality is just not as easy as a story to tell.. things sometime can't be just fulfilled perfectly..

Dear mom and dad, sorry for letting u worry..

Indonesia Rupiah

Ms.Dreamy is going to Indonesia for Asian Medical Students' Exchange Program (AMSEP) from 3rd May to 8th May.. Yeahh!!!~~ ^^

这就是传说中的 Indonesia rupiah ! haha.. guess how much?


RM200 = 580, 000 rupiah


难怪每次和别人谈到很贵的东西要几百万块钱，他们都会spontaneously地说：“huh?! 你以为是Rupiah 咩？” :)

中午Ms.Dreamy 打算去Pekan Cina 钱币兑换商换currency，因为时日不多，再过几天Ms.Dreamy就要和Indonesia的朋友 Alex and Firman 说 Konichiwa 了！（konichiwa好像是日本话？？）。。

可是pekan cina唯一的缺点就是完全没位子parking, 那间店又准准开在马路旁，park在马路上一定立刻中‘三万’。所以Ms.Dreamy只好逼老妈载我去，然后偷偷停在路旁等我。

为了争取时间，Ms.Dreamy快手快脚跑进店里,刚好看到一个在里面扫着地的ah pek，立刻用hokkien跟他说：“ah pek, wo ai uah lui (我要换钱）”。原来那个扫着地的ah pek真的只是一个扫地的ah pek，老板其实坐在一个很隐秘的角落，而且还被黑色玻璃隔着，老妈说一定是怕被人打抢，我说那个玻璃搞不好还能够防弹。。。hehe..

我问老板Ringgit换去Rupiah 怎样算，他说：“jit cheng koh uah noh cheng gao pak cheng rupiah (一千块换两千九百千rupiah)..Ms.Dreamy听到傻去，心想noh cheng gao pak cheng 有几个零？？ 我要换RM200， 所以是多少？noh cheng gao pak cheng 除以 jit cheng koh 再乘以 200。。。Wah Lao..Ms.Dreamy十根手指加脚趾也算不到。



算了，随便给他RM200叫他换，老板很快就给Ms.Dreamy几张rupiah 钞票, 说： “kah liao goh pak bek chap cheng( 全部五百八十千）”Ms.Dreamy再次头晕。。好像对又好像有点不对的样子， 就好像考sejarah时觉得A好像对，可是B看来比较正确，C又不能讲是错，但D又很大percentage correct那样。。。 hehe..



Ms.Dreamy赶紧拿上车给老妈算，因为老妈是human calculator. 她问我一块钱换多少rupiah, 我说那里知道，老板讲一个很长的number，有5有2 有9。。可是怎样arrange我就想不起来。老妈逼Ms.Dreamy下车问清楚老板，结果老妈算了讲ok, 数目正确。（松了一口气。。）

可是一下子老妈又推Ms.Dreamy下车，因为她说那张10000很烂，要破要破那样，又有黏纸，所以硬硬逼Ms. Dreamy叫老板换。老妈真是的，每次这么sia sui 的事情都自己不要做， 叫别人去做， 够力。。



结果Ms.Dreamy厚着脸皮再去问老板可不可以换别张‘美’一点的钱，他笑着说小钱都是肮脏的啦！



老板说：“lu kua ha leh inn nee kia pun shi la la sam sam eh.." (你看那些印尼仔也是肮肮脏脏的。。）我觉得他很有可能今晚就被inn nee kia 打抢。。 hehe..

ASW 2020

27th APRIL 2009


一个星期前，老妈看见报纸刊登ASW 2020 investment. 所以游说Ms.Dreamy把定期存款全部提出去买。Ms.Dreamy想起去年曾经七早八早被老妈逼去帮她排队，跟一大群auntie,uncle,ah yee, ah chek, ah mah, ah pek争到半死拿号码，想到就有点不能呼吸的感觉。。。


但是想到这么大块 “肥猪肉”摆在面前，不去拿就真的很笨一下。


老妈说这次一定没人跟妳抢啦，因为大部分人都买到不要买了，所以迟迟去也不要紧，而且还叫Ms.Draemy去近近的银行买就可以了，不用去sahab perdana的总部那么远，浪费petrol. (老妈最厉害就是会一点点就扮expert..^^)


结果Ms.Dreamy就在前两天把定期存款withdraw, then convert to cheque.因为老妈说一个女生带这么多cash在身上非常危险。


前一天晚上，Ms.Dreamy还特地问老爸bank几点开门，打算一早就去等，无论如何都一定要买到ASW2020就对了。可是老妈却在旁边鸡婆，说bank 9.30am 才开，硬硬叫我9.30am 才出门，不然会在bank门口等到疯。听老妈说到这么轻松，Ms.Dreamy只好很放心地adjust 闹钟到早上8.00am.



结果今天早上，Ms.Dreamy 从睡醒就无聊到8.45am ，只好趁老妈不注意时驾车从家里出发。
怎知9.00am 到达CIMB Bank时竟然心脏病爆发，因为整个bank外面都是人！（当然啦！难道是鬼吗？hehe..)。



Ms.Dreamy匆匆忙忙找地方parking,还好今天驾Kancil，随便就找到一个小格子park进去，
哪里知道park在旁边的胖auntie看到Ms.Dreamy一下车就立刻跑得很快地越过Ms.Dreamy,弄到Ms.Dreamy被逼和她赛跑，喘到半命！


最惨的是我最后竟然还跑输，真的差点吐白泡！ 结果排队排到9.30am,bank的门一打开大家就拼命冲进去，不知道的人一定以为Bank被打抢！！



Ms.Dreamy 好不容易挤进去，哪里知道还是被 弹 出来，再挤进去，再被 弹 出来。。。

最后好不容易终于拿到number,但是banker小姐竟然说第一次买要去sahab perdana总部开account!!!
Ms.Dreamy晴天霹雳！赶快飞车去Sahab Perdana总部，怎知那边人更多!!! Ms.Dreamy好不容易挤入人群，跟guard拿到number,看一下竟然是 377, 假装问旁边的auntie 现在轮到第几个了？ 她说才100, Ms.Dreamy差点吐血！
她看到Ms.Dreamy手上的号码，叫Ms.Dreamy可以回去睡觉了。。



Ms.Dreamy一把火地打电话回去问老妈现在怎么办！？她说不然不用开户口了，用老弟的户口就可以了。我叫老妈赶快拿老弟的account book去CIMB bank meet. Ms.Dreamy又飞车从Sahab Perdana 去 CIMB bank。


在路上，老妈突然打电话告诉Ms.Dreamy CIMB 突然offline 了，Oh My God !!
这时刚好经过post office, 想起刚刚听到阿伯们讲到post office 也可以买，Ms.Dreamy立刻转进去Post office parking, 怎知post office更惨，里面都是人，连门也被人群顶着开不到，神经病！还好一个很好心的guard开门给Ms. Dreamy,还帮Ms.Dreamy按了number, 可是拿到的number 是1178，当时轮着的number 只到1046。。。



突然老妈又call 来说CIMB line ok了，真的很累，huu...
但Ms.Dreamy还是立刻飞车去CIMB bank。。
哪里知道banker小姐说cheque 的名字要和account owner一样，只可以去post office or sahab perdana 开account. 结果 Ms.Dreamy又要吐血了！
由于post office 比较近而且number 距离比较小，所以Ms.Dreamy又再飞车去post office。。。
怎知 Ms.Dreamy 再被晴天霹雳第二次，因为他们不收 cheque, CASH ONLY!!
突然觉得眼前很多星星。。。



最后，Ms.Dreamy只好再飞车去Sahab Perdana, 非常非常地喘，路上收到Mr. J 的sms, 问我有没买ASW2020， 我说 Yea, and it's getting me CRAZY.. 他说他在post office 等着。。。



终于到达很远一下的sahab perdana, 看到office 外面只剩小猫两三只，害Ms.Dreamy非常高兴，赶紧找地方parking, 很兴奋的推开office的门，只见一个auntie 目光呆滞，一直说：“liao liao, boh liao (hokkien).." Ms.Dreamy 再晴天霹雳第三次，当场傻掉，再收到Mr.J 的sms... “Ei，nonid buy liao la, pos office eh finis liao.."


"Here also finish dy lah...AHHHH...!! "

First times..

Frankly, I found myself is getting older and older.. It's all of a sudden, realising myself going to enter my 22nd birthday!

Everything was just like yesterday,

when i met the first friend of my life in the primary school,

when i scored my first 100% in the exam,

when i won my first award in essay competition,

when i learnt to drive the car for the first time,

when i became the teacher for my first student,

when i treated my brothers in Pizza Hut after my first salary,

when my first step into UKM,

when I saw myself in the mirror wearing my first white coat,
when i introduced myself to my first patient...

There're much more of my FIRST TIMEs, which i'll never forget.. and of course, the most memorable first time, is

when i met the first guy i used to like a lot..

If I were to be given a wish, i wish that i could have another 20 years of life. I wish that I could experience much more precious FIRST TIMEs in one's life time...

I wish to experience my First day as an accredited medical doctor, when i can diagnose my patient with the professional knowledge and skills, which i've learnt after my 7 years of hard works.

I wish to experience my First and the only wedding ceremony,the moment i dressed with the ever charming white gaun, surrounded by the prayer of the spectators, saying 'I do' in the eyes of the one, whom i know i'll belong to him for the remaining of my life.

I wish to experience the First day of being the mother of my child, whom i can feel his heartbeats inside me, and whom i know i will lay all my love into. He will be the gift from me, to my beloved husband.

... ...

Apparently, life is beautiful. :)

And after these 20 years, If I would be given another chance to make a new wish, without hesitating, I wish that i can have another 20 years of life, to experience such wonderful moments in my life...

A girl who will never cry

There is a girl,
who has lost the ability to cry.
It seems to be a very long time ago,
since the last tear dropped from the angle of her eyes..
She could hardly recall the incident causing it,
was it a tragedy? a touching scene? or a hurting phrase?




She can no longer remember,
the feeling of a tear, draining along the curvature of her face,
She can no longer remember,
the taste of a tear, when it gently touches her lips,
She can no longer remember,
the broken heart hidding behind each single drop of the innocent tear..




Perhaps this is a nature defense,
to protect herself from being injured once and again,
and avoid the pricking pain of her fragile heart,
Perhaps this is an artificial habit,
which she learned times after times,
to accuse herself from harmful events around,
which she afraid she can no longer withstand for a second time..




She awaked in one tempestuous night,
To her utmost surprised,
finding herself losing the ability to cry..
As if a spell cast by a pathetic witch.




There and after,
Though,
Sadness still knock on her door,
Loneliness still accommodate her room,
She never ever releases a single drop of tear..




She knows she will never cry,
in the rest of her life,
Because her precious tear,
is reserved for the one who deserves it;
while the one who deserves,
will never ever let her cry..

Not a Beauty

今天下午，Ms.Dreamy在很梦幻的Spring's Leaf Cafe High tea, 结果大发现，原来Alor Star 也有“进得厨房， 出得厅堂”的餐厅！！！（**最好不要被老妈看到，不然天才妈一定会骂Ms.Dreamy又再乱乱用成语... )

Ms.Dreamy 迫不及待用手机拍下来，最后终于吓倒正在一边吃东西，一边大大声讲福建话的两位ah pek(s)...^^

连washroom也这么漂亮！








拍完后，Ms. Dreamy order 了一杯很“可爱”的Espresso, Loverholic(Ms.Dreamy 的ex-student) order 了一盘不知道叫什么名字的Mexico食物，（一时想不起那个奇怪的东西名叫什么，Ms.Dreamy对莫西哥食物的认识只是在mexico bun的程度，不好意思。hehe..^^)








Ms.Dreamy一边吃着东西，一边听LoverHolic讲故事的时候，突然吓了一跳， 因为她背后不时不时有一层白白的东西飘 过！Ms. Dreamy以为近视又再加深了，赶快擦了擦眼睛，怎知还是一样！！ 由于LoverHolic的故事实在很长，Ms.Dreamy不知不觉地算到那层东西的frequency是十秒钟一次，而且还越来越快，最后直接变成‘喷’的！

当LoverHolic终于讲完故事去toilet的时候，Ms. Dreamy 才发现 原来。。。

真想不到看起来美美很有气质的女子竟然吸烟吸到喷烟！！ 真的是‘人不可貌相’。


**突然庆幸Ms. Dreamy 不是美女，不然以后不小心做错一点点就会被人家讲到很惨, hehe...

SO GLAD TO BE ORDINARY ~~平凡真好！

Every Breath You Take..

Ms. Dreamy昨天在PPS看了一部很浪漫的movie--'50 First Dates' (a very amazing love story ^^)

女主角Lucy是一位绘画老师，她的记忆一直都停留在13 Oct 2003，那天一场无辜的车祸，伤到了她的头脑temporal lobe，无法把short-term memory convert to long-term memory，每天早上醒来后就会忘了前一天发生过的任何事。 她每天早上都会穿着同一件衣服，在同一间餐厅， 一边看书， 一边吃waffer.

Henry 是水族馆的兽医，he is a ladies' man, 和女生交往都只是last for one day. 一天阴差阳错来到了小岛上的那间餐厅， 对Lucy一见钟情。后来知道Lucy的记忆只有一天，他不但没放弃，还每天尝试不同的方式扮鬼扮马和Lucy巧遇。他假装被绑架，扮车抛锚，叫好友假扮路霸， 派宠物企鹅挡在路中，就好像每天都是第一次见面。 :)

后来Lucy终于知道了自己的病，也知道了Henry放弃升职的机会，因为他每天的时间，都只是用来让她记得他。虽然很不舍得，Lucy决定在记忆里从此删掉Henry，就好像彼此从来没遇见过，因为不管Henry再怎么努力，她醒来后，还是认不得他... ...

故事讲到最后，Henry在疗养院里， 找到正在教病人画画的Lucy，他以为她终于记得他了，可是，Lucy看了他很久，始终说不出来他是谁... ...Lucy牵着Henry的手,走进她的studio,里面都是他的画像... ...

Lucy: I don't know who you are, Henry... but I dream about you almost every night. [apprehensive pause] Why?

Henry: What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?

Lucy: I would say that that makes a lot of sense.

Henry: You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life... ... But you made a mistake... Being with you... is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You're the girl of my dreams... and apparently, I'm the man of yours.

Every breath you take

And every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

Ill be watching you

Every single day

And every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay

Ill be watching you

Oh, cant you see

You belong to me

Now my poor heart aches

With every step you take

Every move you make

Every vow you break

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake

Ill be watching you

... ...

**故事到最后当然是happy ending啦！不然Ms.Dreamy也不会这么喜欢这部戏。^^而且还很喜欢这部戏的片尾曲-- ' Every Breath you Take'

后记：Ms. Dreamy答应过一个海盗朋友，如果想学多些医学知识就要read my blog regularly. :)

Hippocampus (medial part of temporal lobe) is the important site for short-term memory storage and memory consolidation.The medical term for memory lost is 'Amnesia'. It is usually due to lesion on the hippocampus.

There are two types of Amnesia, namely 'Retrograde Amnesia' and 'Anterograde Amnesia'. 'Retro' means 'backward/ behind' , the patient with Retrograde Amnesia unable to recall recent past events. 'Antero' means 'front', the patient with Anterograde Amnesia unable to remember events occuring after the trauma or disease that caused the condition.

Alright, i believe now you must know what's wrong with the poor Lucy :)

ANTI-SJMC

今天Ms.Dreamy收到一封很震惊的e-mail, 立刻forward给所有在list的朋友！！ 那是一连串来自SJMC( Subang jaya medical center)的秘密照片，内容竟然是医生性侵犯被麻醉的病人！！照片一张比一张过分，那个变态医生应该被捉去枪靶！

*请原谅Ms．Dreamy实在不想放那么肮脏的图片来污染这神圣的Ms. Dreamy's Blog。大家如果想看的话请Email Ms. Dreamy, I'll forward the mail to u personally.

Ms.Dreamy看了当场想骂粗口，（只是想而已，Ms.Dreamy可是有修养的淑女兼正气的医学生，决不会为了那个禽兽医生而自毁形象！ ）那个变态真的侮辱了整个医学界，简直就是医学界的耻辱！

突然觉得人真的很脆弱，尤其是病人，为了活下去，无可奈何地被逼把自己交给医生，打了麻醉针后不省人事，任由只是在医院见过那么几次面的医生处置，满怀希望的期待打开眼睛后就可以恢复健康，和心爱的人从此过着快快乐乐的生活。其实，这个世界上到底有多少人是真正的快乐？贫弱悬殊，不公平待遇四处都是，只是大部分的人选择忍气吞声，并不是因为没胆量，而是心里很清楚说出来非但不能改变事情，而且还会带来更多不必要的麻烦。 人生，就是那么的无奈； 人，其实真的很可怜。

虽然这世界上有很多坏人，就算是看起来神圣的医生，转眼也会变成坏人，但Ms. Dreamy 相信人生还是会看见曙光 ，在医院里还是会遇见很多像Ms. Dreamy那样立志当好医生的热血青年，真心的为了帮助未来的病人，而心甘情愿牺牲五年青春修读全世界最难读的医学系，一天到晚除了睡觉和吃饭就是在拼命K书， 当别人去Midvalley蒲自己则只能在医院逛，誓死当个正义的好医生，（好像有点夸张， hehe..^^)

老妈说这照片都不懂是真是假，怎么可能手术室这么大没半个护士，会不会只是在拍戏？

我说：“你问我，我问谁？”

Sunrise-beach at Los Arenales

True love--Worth the Wait..

“ 如果我還有一天壽命，那天我要做你女友。
我還有一天的命嗎？..沒有。
所以，很可惜。我今生仍然不是你的女友。


如果我有翅膀，我要從天堂飛下來看你。
我有翅膀嗎？..沒有。
所以，很遺憾。我從此無法再看到你。


如果把整個浴缸的水倒出，也澆不熄我對你愛情的火燄。
整個浴缸的水全部倒得出嗎？..可以。
所以，是的。我愛你... ”



“第一次的亲密接触”， 是Ms.Dreamy第一本看完的散文集。 这段对白，令我感动了很久很久。一直都很佩服FEELING的勇敢，老天带走了她的健康，却夺不掉她坚持去爱的勇气和力量。FEELING是幸运的，因为她在有生之年，遇见了愿意爱她一切的人。


也许痞子蔡并不是心甘情愿，而是没有办法， 因为当他知道她的病那一刻，她已经令他无可自拔地爱着她。 他包容她之前没对他坦白病情，他愿意承受看着爱人一天一天地死去, he is forced to undergo the time when the girl he loves most no longer in the corner of his eyes.. I guess this is what so called 'The Power of Love', that gives him the strength to take over this sudden disaster. I believe this is never an easy job..


如果故事改写，FEELING一开始就告诉痞子蔡她即将要死去，我相信他会犹豫，到底应不应该继续爱她。世界上，应该没有任何人愿意去爱一个即将会死的人， 没有人会喜欢离别，留在世上的那一个， 永远都是最痛苦的，他必须承受最爱的人消失在眼帘，永远永远都不会再出现。


Ms. Dreamy 想，如果我知道我即将要死去，我会勇敢地告诉我喜欢的人，我会让他拥有自己的权力去选择要不要陪我走下去，因为他需要无比的勇气， 来承受我总有一天的离去。 如果他选择离我而去，我一定会原谅他，因为他是我喜欢的人，我想让他的记忆里都只是快乐的回忆， 他会遇到另一个和我一样喜欢他的女孩，一个可以陪他走到老的人。


While I'll keep waiting, waiting for the one who willing to love my everything, this is what a true love should be, and True Love is always, Worth the Wait..

Mickey Marie

Marie 饼是Ms. Dreamy的最爱，脆脆的口感，咬下去淡淡的奶香和甜甜的味道，真的令Ms. Dreamy百吃不厌。Marie 饼有大型和小型的，Ms. Dreamy's Principle is: 两块小型的分量equal to一块大型的，为了满足心理需求又避免吃入太高卡路里，Ms. Dreamy 每次都会叫老妈买一大包小型Marie饼，然后不辞劳苦地带去KL。hehe.. 八大姐每次都问，KL没卖Marie饼吗？山长水远带过来，我说一定是made in Alor Star的比较好吃的嘛！她看着我的Marie饼，眼睛睁得大大地，“真的假的？”



早上吃早餐时突发奇想，设计了Mickey Marie..


说到Mickey , Ms. Dreamy 想起亲爱的Dr. Farihah教过， penis 的transverse section就好像Mickey mouse, 把specimen按下去，就会看到会笑的Mickey Mouse, 哈哈，多亏Dr丰富的想象力，让我们reproductive module轻松过关。


在此附上penis 教科书一页，大家研究研究看吧！:)

No Wonder lah..

昨晚Ms.Dreamy看戏看得很紧张的时候，突然八大姐飘洋过海called过来，叫我立刻打开NTV7,看学姐和男朋友上电视，在玩'deal or no deal' (一郑千金英语版）。
由于好奇心驱使，Ms. Dreamy赶紧按掉老爸的武侠剧，转去NTV7，原来学姐的男友还真帅气，虽然不像吴卓曦那么有型有款，但已经比Ms.Draemy大学的那群怪物好很多很多，八大姐说他不是医学系的，我们一起大大声地说：“难怪啦！”
他们最后还赢得RM22，000， 老妈说够还你五年的奖学金了！唉，为什么人家的男朋友那么好料，Ms. Dreamy却22年来都是孤单一人呢？说了你都不相信，难怪我每天被傻大姐骂，“好心你不要要求那么高啦！” 我真的要求很高吗？到底什么叫作‘要求高’，什么才叫作‘要求低'?要求是什么unit? cm? m?有尺可以量吗？？算了，问了等于没问，因为傻大姐还不是和我一样，也是一样孤单了22年，Give me five.. (无奈..)

Part-time..4 days ONLY..

Ms.Dreamy的sem 4 break-虽然只是短短的一个月假期，但为了哀悼'laughing哥’，Ms.Dreamy决定不再当家里的寄生虫，胆粗粗的逛了整座PACIFIC应征。可怜Ms.Dreamy走到脚都酸还是没人要请，笨蛋才会在这经济萧条的淡季花钱请个从来没打过工，而且还是顶多能够做three weeks就sayonara的工人。
皇天不负苦心人，终于遇到志同道合的famous书局老板娘，原来她也是'laughing哥' 的fan，正所谓四海之内皆兄弟，她拍胸口请我，可是却以一双很诡异的眼神看着Ms.Dreamy,然后很认真地说：工，作，很，辛，苦，的，咯！我说没关系，我办事，你放心（看太多港剧的后果）。
老妈跟老弟打赌，看死Ms. Dreamy 一天就辞职，没错，三分钟热度就是Ms.Dreamy的代号。我说你们等着瞧吧！嘿嘿，SHOW TIME!!~ 结果，姜还是老的辣！Ms. Dreamy果然在第四天就和老板娘大姐说SAYONARA,SELAMAT TINGGAL 再加上AU REVOIR，然后不敢再踏入书局一步了。。。

其实，我是有苦衷的，大家请相信我！！！
1）工作时间从11a.m.到10p.m.,从早做到晚，你以为我是robot嚒？
2）工作时间又不可以用电话，放工看到一大堆未接来电，call回去浪费掉的钱还多过一天的薪水，Ms.Dreamy不做亏本生意的叻！
3）老妈每天找借口懒得当司机，说浪费她看戏的宝贵时间。 （Ms.Dreamy一家大小的兴趣都是看戏，；老爸看武侠剧，老妈韩剧，Ms. Dreamy最爱港剧，大小老弟台湾偶像剧）
4）其他同事不是年级太大就是太年轻，太老有generation gap, 太年轻Ms. Dreamy觉得很自卑，所以工作闷得发慌，傻掉！
5）午餐和晚餐没选择，没得吃Ms.Dreamy的favourite Rojak, Laksa and Gorpis, 简直是折磨！
6）老板娘大姐果然很诚实，工作真的很幸苦，Ms.Dreamy才做几天就每根手指轮流受伤，当兵都没那么辛苦。
7）大白鲨supervisor每天盯着part-timer, 看Ms. Dreamy 一得空伸懒腰就丢整箱整箱的书去punch price tag, 包书，排书，再punch price tag,包书，排书，再再punch price tag....感觉上腰骨像散掉一样！
8）。。。

其实苦衷这种东西，都是based on your creativity， 老妈说懒就懒啦，找这么多借口。。。

临走前，Ms. Dreamy偷偷拍下大白鲨的‘玉照’， 以便好好激励自己，无论如何都要控制饮食！！！^^

Welcome to Ms.Dreamy's world!!~

Dear everyone who intentionally or accidentally entering Ms.Dreamy's blog,

A very GOOD day to you. Just take a cup of coffee and cookies, get ready to adventure Ms.Dreamy's world.. :)